The road was not easy, my friend, but it was worth it.
I thought I had the whole “great relationship” thing all sewn up. I had a beautiful wife, a big-ass 4000 square foot house, with a dojo and a pub, on an acre and a quarter. I had three of the best dogs you could want - Nacho, Fajita, and Burrito. I was living in Houston, Texas, acting on film and television in scenes with several Academy Award winners, and running a successful house flipping company.
Things were looking pretty good for the Spike man, except...
Not so fast, there, Sparky!
After being with my wife for 13 years, thinking we had great communication, deep love and understanding, she decided to “go another way.” With my closest friend…A lot.
Yes, I caught them. And yes, it hurt like hell.
The very next day, I filed for divorce. There was no chance of reconciliation. I sold my wedding ring, and with the proceeds, I bought a Celtic Trinity tattoo on my back that says “Never Give Up,” in Gaelic, underneath it. At least that is what I was told by several Gaelic speakers. It could be a recipe for Irish Stew.
I spent the next two months alone in my big-ass house, trying to figure out what to do next. The woman I loved more than anything in the world had just ripped my heart completely out, gnawed on it for awhile, threw it down on the floor, stomped on it, and set it on fire. I lost 30 pounds in those 2 months.
I call it the Despair-O-Trim diet. You know, the one where you eat almost nothing, drink way too much, and work out like you are in Special Forces, fueled by utter hatred and pain. Yeah, you’ve been there, haven’t you…
After two months of deep suffering, I was one tiny squeeze away from oblivion.
There on the brink of taking my own life, a voice from deep within, said “No.” They were not worth it. Deep down, I knew that. More importantly, I knew I had more to live for. It just wasn’t in Houston.
Houston was dead to me. A couple years before my divorce, I had also lost my mom to a hard-fought battle with lung cancer. Then, after the whole Adultery-palooza, to add insult to injury, my ex and her new “man” were spreading vicious lies to everyone about me to justify their actions. So I lost my ex’s family, and even though my former best friend’s family was like a second family to me, they turned their back on me as well.
NOTE: assholes will do any and everything to rationalize, cover their butts, and make themselves feel better about being assholes.
And they did.
I made plans to sell our home, liquidate the fifteen rental properties we owned, and I moved to Los Angeles to a tiny 800 square foot apartment in Koreatown where I could not take my beloved pups. That was the hardest part. I knew three people in L.A. and had no idea what I was going to do. However, my ex-wife did agree that to be civil, sell everything, split the profits, so we could move on with our lives.
Instead, they moved in to my house…with my dogs. Instead of selling our business, she decided to manage our properties herself. I watched from Los Angeles as massive amounts of money were being piled onto our business credit cards. Seeing their continued recklessness as they ran my business into the ground, I filed for bankruptcy.
One good note, my father who had been mostly estranged from me since I was thirteen, came to be by my side for my trip to L.A. He even gave me some extra money to get started out here. I will be eternally grateful for that. He died shortly after I arrived in L.A.
Within two years, I literally lost everything and almost everyone I knew and loved.
Sounds like a I was in a great place to start dating again, right?
Wrong…but that’s exactly what I did. I had a choice to make - either
A) Let the actions of two very morally ignominious people take control of me, and drag me down to a pit of despair and failure. (AKA - They win.)
B) Face the situation head on, make a decision to defeat it, build upon it, learn everything I could to become a strong confident MAN who attracts women and amazing experiences into my life! (AKA - I WIN!)
I chose “B." I'm not saying the way back was easy. Far from it.
But, in the process, I found the absolute best way to date women: have them come to me.
I actually stumbled on the concept out of necessity. I was deadass broke after a couple years struggling in the acting game in Hollywood. I was literally down to my last dime, twice. So, believe me, I couldn't afford the lobster.
Fortunately I am a pretty good cook, and I really LOVE food! If you know how to put it all together, you have the ingredients for a successful date night.
Do you know how much it costs to bake a chicken, sauté up some green beans with garlic, and have a decent bottle of red wine from Trader Joe’s?
That's the easy part. Getting the woman to your place is where the real learning comes in.
I studied all the masters of dating and pick up. I read tons of self help books on love and relationships. I worked through several different types of self improvement therapies and hypnosis. And I did a lot of “field research.” I learned a ton through my successes and failures. I tweaked my techniques, I tried new things, I pushed women's buttons, sometimes for good, sometimes for not so good. It was all a testing ground.
In the end, I had many incredibly hot dates and a few longer term relationships with some truly incredible women.
Many breakfasts were made But never any commitments.
After several years of “sowing my oats” I finally found the one that makes my heart go freaking pitter pat. A gorgeous beauty queen, who coaches people for business success, teaches Pilates, writes books, and co-wrote the screenplay for a film called “Bro” starring Danny Trejo...and she also makes me feel all goofy inside.
As I write this, we have been together for almost 5 years, married for over 2, and she is about to give birth to our first born, a boy that shall be called Declan William Spencer!
Had I not learned and mastered many of the things that I now teach to thousands of fellas across the globe, I would not be married to this fantastic woman.
I would not have had the courage to walk right up to her, with confidence and a little swagger. I might have been too timid to be with the one that makes me smile like a Cheshire Cat every day. And did I mention, she is 19 years younger than me?
I learned, I honed my skills, and I constantly strive to learn new and better ways to be a stronger person, for my wife, my family, and all those whose lives I might be able to improve through my teachings...That means yours too.
Now I bring everything I have learned, to you, to help you side step the land mines that I fell face flat upon.
Learn from my mistakes, my failures, and my triumphs.
If I can you avoid going through the tragedy I did, then I win.
If you are ready to change your life, ready to attract women that will enhance all that you are and want to be, if you are ready to step into being the MAN you can be; then you have found a great place to learn some very valuable ways to get there.
We respect and want to attract strong women into our lives. In order to do that we must become the best MEN we can be.
If you are just wanting to get laid, or wanting to manipulate women to get them to do what you want; then this is NOT the site for you.
This is a positive place of support and growth, humor and substance. We LOVE women and want to be strong for them and have them love us for it. Join us in our journey and let us help you hone your skills, improve your game, and become the best YOU you can be.