Porn, #FoodGame Style

food-porn

Some guys sit in front of a tiny computer screen and look at naked women doing naughty things and get all hot and bothered. I don’t care too much for that type of porn. Not that there is anything wrong with it. As long as everybody is a consenting adult, knock yourself out. But, for me, it’s all about Food Network, the Cooking Channel, and the Travel Channel.

Oh, to see bubbling gumbo writhing and churning, barely able to contain itself until it is bursting over the top and slowly dripping down the sides of the pot!

Cutting into a perfectly grilled thick cut Porterhouse steak, seeing that beautiful hot pink meat, juices seeping out all over the plate, streaking down my chin as I take a greedy sinful bite is simply orgasmic.

Right now, I’m watching a chef slowly drizzle sweet hot cherry gastrique over a sizzling breast… of duck. (Insert Homer Simpson drool noises here.)

Oh yeah. That is my kind of porn. Food porn. Porn, #FoodGame style.

For me, it’s all about the food.

That’s why I focus so much on it in my dating and relationship work. Food is sexy! Food can be a great gateway to actual sexy shenanigans in your own life. But you can’t just throw crap together from a box and expect to impress your lovelies.

When you take the time to actually prepare something tasty, you add a certain level of love that shows and impresses. It also gives you something to talk about. Instead of dreary chit chat about instant potato flakes or Uncle Ben’s whatever, you can wax rhapsodic about the sexy simmering sauces of sultry Colombia, spicy N’Awlins, or savory succulent Paris.

It doesn’t take a lot to really spice up your love life with great tasting food. Easy is the key. Great ingredients, simply prepared, will do most of the work for you. The more complicated you make cooking for your date, the harder it will be for you to impress.

Working too hard can work against you. If you are busy for hours and have too many things going on, by the time your date gets there, you will be pooped. Keep it simple.

And what if, after all that work, she doesn’t rave about your food? You will be really let down. Not a good place to start a date.

So what kinds of dishes will keep you happy and casual while cueing the “Bow chicka wow wow” music? Here’s a few to work with.

1. One pot meals.

Things like chili, cassoulet, soups, braised meats, and oven baked goodies of all kinds, are perfect for making the place smell amazing and keeping you cool and casual at the same time.

2. No cook meals.

Throw together a charcuterie plate of mixed meats like salami, capicola, and prosciutto and some tasty cheeses to pair with a really nice glass of wine.

3. Slow cooker.

You can’t get less stressed than throwing a bunch of great ingredients in a pot and walking away. And that slow simmer all day squeezes out every ounce of flavor you can get from an ingredient.

Take the time to get good ingredients, prepare them simply, and relax. You will find that things will go much more smoothly on your dates. Your place will smell amazing, her taste buds will be tickled, and if you play your cards right, that won’t be the only thing getting tickled.

Bon “chicka wow wow” apetit!